your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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