I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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