There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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