I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
