I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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