hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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