And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
No subtext here. People are naked.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
