i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
