Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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