does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
