She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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