you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize