Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
