I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
