I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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