I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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