you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
