To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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