Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
