I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
