dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
