I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
