he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
