Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize