and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
