Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
