Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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