let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
