The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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