Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
