Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
