Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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