Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
