No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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