i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
