Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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