I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
