I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
