idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
