Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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