my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
