She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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