umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize