this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
