Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
