It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
