life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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