please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think I just sharted jello shots
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
