my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
