dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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