I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
