Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
