I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize