White coat. Heels.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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