Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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