just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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