im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
