Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
