Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
