I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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