I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
