I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
